Signs of the End: NBA Going to Nicknames
Alright, so yesterday a report was released that the NBA is considering putting nicknames, as opposed to real last names, on the back’s of player’s jerseys next year. The team’s being considered for this drastic change are the Miami Heat (NO WAY!?!) and the Brooklyn Nets.
Please excuse me as I just spray vomited all over my keyboard and in turn my hands while typing out the above sentences.
When I first saw this report posted on ESPN.com, I thought it might have been a hoax, or that there may have been more to the headline because surely this couldn’t be true. Now, before we get going on this matter, I will openly admit I am not an NBA aficionado, but I do watch and have a general understanding of what it means to play sports, be on a team, and not be an egotistical asshole; and this goes against all of them.
What really hurt me the most during this debacle is the lack of backlash I saw from the media on all accounts. Obviously on SportsCenter, after completing their rundown of TEBOW’S LIFE, JETS D VS HEAT OFFENSE, DWIGHT HOWARD BUYS SHOES, and LEBRON’S THOUGHTS ON SYRIA, they covered the NBA nickname proposal like it was no big deal and it was an accepted idea, with very little backlash, if any at all. So before throwing the remote at my television in a HEATed rage I decided to pause for a little and confide in the fact that Pardon the Interruption was on next, and surely my favorite guys on television Kornheiser and Wilbon would attack this topic like Ron Artest did that fan back in 2004. But my disappointment only grew stronger when they both agreed they weren’t thrilled by the idea, but we’re not completely against it. I was looking for Korny to go absolutely bat shit crazy and talk about what has gone wrong with society and when he didn’t I did it for him. Upon their unconcerned acceptance I immediately got up went full wind-up and whipped the remote at the television in an infuriated, blackout rage as my mom (I live at home) happened to be walking by with a turkey sandwich and it struck her, knocking her out cold in the living room. So not only is the remote broken, my mom paralyzed from the neck down, and myself crying in a confused mental breakdown, there are still going to be nicknames on the back of NBA jerseys.
Now Frank, it’s not that egotistical to have nicknames on the backs of jerseys, it’s just a fun thing for the players and fans to enjoy, the NBA promotes teamwork and selflessness!
Yeah I guess you’re right. The proposed nicknames of King James, Jesus Shuttlesworth, The Truth (not lying) really do send a good message to children, because nothing screams team more than proclaiming you’re a dictating ruler, the son of god, or that you are the fidelity to an original or to a standard.
I can’t imagine greats like Magic and Bird supporting this idea. But maybe I’m wrong.
I understand that sports are entertainment. But they are still professionals and I believe the NBA is becoming more focused on the show and #swag than the grit, hard work, and team message that sports are intended to carry with them.
by Frank Mac