Facebook, Twitter, Instagram To Be Combined Into One Social Networking Entity
Last month in LA during the Tech Expo, it was announced that Facebook Twitter and Instagram would all be joining forces to give its users the ultimate social-networking experience.
Ambrose Pennyworth, executive spokesperson for the new social-networking entity, titled Project Friendship spoke with us at CTS this month.
“The idea is that we take everyone from Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram and let them share everything in one space. This means music, movies, passwords, social security numbers, family members’ medical prescriptions, and baby pictures all in a one stop shop type of setting.”
We at CTS found this last statement a bit alarming, but assumed it was just a silly joke. But after some more digging we found out who Ambrose Pennyworth really was working for.
Pennyworth is really a government employee working on an all out takeover of the Internet’s users via social-networking. It appears this has been in the works since 2003 with the introduction of Myspace. We took to the streets and interviewed some of Twitter’s most popular users about what they thought about all of this. We mostly got answers like “#SWAG.” Other users seemed ecstatic at the prospect of even MORE users being able to see their really deep and insightful quotes about yolo’ing that they copied from Tumblr.
So we asked the Facebook users what they thought. Andrew Werbler, an avid FB’er spoke of his excitement. ”This is great! I mean, I know it’s a global takeover and all, but I’m always trying to get more people to check out and “like” the pictures of food that I eat each evening, and this is the perfect way!”
We thought for sure that somebody from the Instagram community would understand the horrible ramifications of this merger, but we were wrong. We tried to reason with them, but all we got were sepia-toned middle fingers and black-and-white pictures of lakes.
We need to get the word out about this terrible monopoly we have on our hands, or else we will be doomed to live in a world where the only thing we value is our very temporary Internet fame and the false validation we receive from a Facebook like or a retweet, oh wait…
I guess we’re all fucked.
****Tumblr was also invited to join Project Friendship, but declined because it was “too mainstream.”
by Uncle Mike